1. |
Unwanted
03:33
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I can’t stand this feeling building up inside of me
Is it depression or am I just lonely
I can’t stand knowing all my friends are out with out me
Or am I just a fancy word for bummed out
I am super fucking tired
Or super damn depressed
Or both
Or neither
A nap can make it go away
It clears my mind for like half the day
But anything that reminds me of how much my friends all hate me
I can’t seem to find my place
Everybody is getting along so nice
Sometimes I feel like no one really wants me
And I’m the annoying kid who nobody wants
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2. |
Your Friend (Loves You)
05:55
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I just kinda wanna hold your hand
not that I don't like being your friend but I
I kinda hate being your friend
and I would rather hold your hand
sometimes I feel like I'm third wheeling
with you and your friend from before we met
sometimes I felt like she was nothing
but I know I always was
I just kinda wanna hold your hand
not that I don't like being your friend but I
I kinda hate being your friend
and I would rather hold your hand
I know if I try something over-romantic
you'll end up thinking it's overdramatic
you're a low key girl
in this high key world
and I just kinda wanna hold your hand
not that I don't like being your friend but I
I kinda hate being your friend
and I would rather hold your hand
It'd be so much easier to go for any other girl
because it meant something if you say no
and when your girlfriends talk about every other guy
it makes me just feel like every other guy
I just kinda wanna hold your hand
not that I don't like being your friend but I
I kinda hate being your friend
and I would rather hold your hand
I just kinda wanna hold your hand
not that I don't like being your friend but I
I kinda hate being your friend
and I would rather hold your hand
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3. |
A Few Days
01:05
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The weight of the world just broke my shoulders
And I think I broke something
I didn’t try to make it better
I just let it keep sitting there
The weight of the world just broke my will to be
Here
Its too heavy it makes me wanna do nothing
What do I do, where do I go
It hurts so much I just have to know
Do I get some tape, and try to fix it
Or take some drugs to make me feel better
Because I can’t afford a few days of rest
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4. |
She Said
03:27
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Why do I wake up
She said
It would be so much easier if
We were dead
I wouldn’t have to solve my problems they’d just fall away from me
I wouldn’t have to get out of bed
What if I went to sleep
All the girls and drugs and stupid fucks
Would fall away from me
And my battery
Both phone and mentally
Would never run out
Again
She said
What if I am actually depressed
All those online quizzes said i was fucking stressed
I can’t seem to get my life together
And it’s falling apart a little more every hour
You remind me of my ex
She said
He was small and white and every time
I see you I think of him
I feel like I can say
Whatever you want to me
Cuz am I gonna say anyway
I am so alone, she said
Every time I find some friends I fall in love with one of them
It never works out in the end
And they end up kicking me out like they did to all my friends
She said
What if I am actually depressed
All those online quizzes said i was fucking stressed
I can’t seem to get my life together
And it’s falling apart a little more every hour
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5. |
Eyes
01:23
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I can't see why you can't look me in the eyes
we used to try to talk all the time
we never could be past talking about shitty tv shows we both watched
we never worked even as friends
we can try again
we can try again
we won't try again
until we can be friends
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6. |
Fake
06:08
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I honeslty just can't connect with people
It's not like people are mean, or anything
And I’m happy because the things most people enjoy I just don't
And I’m happy because I isolate myself
I hide it pretty damn well but almost too well
To the point where I’m fake
I feel fake when I wake up
X2
Sometimes I ask myself
If Holden caufeild would call me a phony
It might be cause I’m afraid of myself
Maybe I'll get to know you one day
I used to know you very well
you’re so closed off
But began to open up to me
To me
I hide it pretty damn well but almost too well
To the point where I’m fake
I feel fake when I wake up
The most genuine fake person I know is myself
its me
And I think I’m holding something against myself
I know right
And that's what bothers me the most
We have the potential to be such good friends
We were last year but now we're not
Not sure if its her or me or both
And now I've finally gotten past her
Especially after last night
Which sucked, by the way
It made me kinda cry
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7. |
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I miss our talks
As shallow as they were
We really just met
We didn’t know each other too well yet
We won’t see each other
We won’t meet each other
I know it was rushed
But I cared for you
I was scared for you
And in time, I’ll still care for you
We have to resolve
But it’s mostly me
Who won’t resolve
I’ve been trained to avoid
The ones I’ve loved
And ones I’ve destroyed
You’re neither really
But a bit of both
So I don’t know why I can’t look you in the eyes
It’s not about me not seeing you
It’s about me not seeing
Anybody else
I never should have held your hand
I should’ve kept being your friend
Because after you hold a hand
You’re not holding a hand anymore
My own identity is a topic I never looked into
I figured if we talked about it
It would make me feel fake
(I should’ve said something to you
But I just would’ve scared you off
Did I move to fast, did I move to slow
I have to know
Or
I feel so anxious when I see you
I’m so depressed that I can cry
My life is going to fast, my life is going to slow
I have to know, I never know)
I never should have held your hand
I should’ve kept being your friend
Because after you hold someone’s hand
You’re not holding their hand anymore
I wanna see you
I wanna see you
Want you to see me
I want you to see me
(I don’t know why you can’t look me in the eyes)
Solo
I figured it out
We can’t look at each other
But we can look
At one another
We won’t see each other much
We won’t meet each other much
We have seen ourselves too much
We have met ourselves too much
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Broken Headlights New Jersey
I'm 15 and I started writing music. Follow my Tumblr blog and my Soundcloud as well.
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